Even though I am not a formal “writer”, but this phrase that I named this post with was the only phrase I could think of that would express the emotion I wanted to convey perfectly. After a long gap I am trying to write a post in the blog. I don’t have any theme in mind. So I will just let my fingers take this thread wherever they want to go.
Chatpter One: Father of the Pride
I am not sure if I have any “reader” of my blogs either, but assuming that you exist, o dear reader of my words of wisdom, I am wondering if you are curious about why there was such a long gap. Assuming that you are, let me tell you that the reason behind my vacation was my baby daughter – who was born on April the 4th of 2008 A.D. It goes like this: you plan so much what you want to do in your life, or at least what you want to do for the coming few days/weeks/months; and all your plans are thrown off the cliff by a pair of sweet little hands – and you don’t even complain. You can’t get a decent sleep at night anymore – and you blissfully accept it. You have to keep her comforted on your hands and lap for hours at a stretch – but you choose to ignore any physical inconvenience. That’s parenthood. And it’s wonderful. A single look at those sweet big eyes and you get the elation LSD fails to give.
By now a month has passed, and she is more settled, more in terms with the world now. I remember a line from the famous book “One Hundred Years of Solitude” – the writer, describing a child’s view of the world, writes, “the world was so new that many a things lacked names” (the exact phrasing in the book may have been different, but you get the point). Even though my baby is quite far from that stage yet as a child, but if you extrapolate the idea onto her age, it’s like that the life itself is so new that it probably has not even developed an awareness of self or an awareness of the body, its needs, or its feelings. The baby would know to react to the bodily needs – cry when hungry, cry when uncomfortable, cry when irritated etc. But it would not remember, not learn from the experiences – not just yet. The only thing they learn at this stage is how to feed. Unless something is really wrong inside the body, feeding is the answer for every need the baby has – and that is something the baby learns very very quickly. And then slowly and steadily the journey begins for learning the world, learning about life.
Chapter Two: Time Management
The hours and days of my little vacation period after the baby was born flew like anything. The day I had to actually restart going to work felt really odd. I actually couldn’t care less what was happening in the work area. The only thing I was looking forward to was getting back home after 6. I guess the same state of mind would be a newly-married person’s – but I am sure to a different degree. I cannot say for myself, because I do not categorically remember the same (and neither I used to keep a blog back then). But I am quite sure that the feeling of holding a little life in your hands – while the life being so dependent on you that it can only look at you and cry assuming you’d fulfill its needs – is something entirely different. It gives you a sense of purpose, albeit illogical, but nevertheless.
But then the time between 6 pm today and 9 am tomorrow would fly fast as well. Yes, we could still eat, clean up, watch some TV shows with the baby in lap, and check emails or scraps, but anything outside the normal and need-based routines was impossible even to think of. And it still is. But things are getting back to a more maneuverable zone now. So finding time to write a blog post was finally possible.
And finally I am at the last paragraph of my post. Again, this post serves no purpose, conveys no great message, except perhaps you could guess how excited I am being a father. Probably after a few years if I look at this post, I would laugh at this childish expression of my emotions – ’cause by then I would be more worried about what she gets back from school in her report cards, but nevertheless let me publish this post as right now this post stands as a snapshot – a picture – of my mind, of my feelings.
Au revoir, my good reader. I shall speak to you soon, when I find some more time to be more social. Till then, go and watch some good movies, eat healthy, do some exercise, and love life. Cheers!
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